The Dear Bob experience is a visual, interactive 360° gallery, which requires mouse/touch interaction. This page provides a text-based alternative description.
View the full interactive 360° experience
I May Destroy You is a brand new drama from the brilliant mind of Michaela Coel that explores our relationship with sex. Using a variety of perspectives and experiences, Coel shines a bright light on the grey area of consent.
This digital exhibition features some of the themes that are explored in the show.
Please note that this gallery contains scenes of sexual nature and themes of sexual abuse which some may find upsetting.
Welcome to Dear Bob.
From stealthing, to threesome trickery, to outright rape - I May Destroy You allows us to discuss the multifaceted layers that come with sex and consent. Layers that we're not always taught about in school or by our parents or even our friends. It allows us to see different ways of dealing with such trauma and most importantly - opens up room for discussion to happen - without judgement.
This gallery aims to start those discussions and give power and platform to the voices that so often go unheard. The letters in the exhibition have been inspired by conversations sparked by I May Destroy You, between real people online sharing their own stories. By using "Dear Bob/Barbara" - like in the show - we keep the anonymity of both victim and perpetrator and create a collection voice making room for everyone to heal, discuss and most importantly, learn.
It's not grey, Bob. It's not black, or white. Red, purple, pink or yellow. It is what it is. Assault.
I said yes, because I didn't know how to say no.
And I think you know that
Can I be "gagging" for it
Whilst gagging over a toilet bowl
I didn't know that you'd taken a piece of me.
I thought I gave it to you
I want it back, Bob.
I didn't ask for all of that.
Consent of one thing, does not mean consent of all things.
I'm not 17, anymore
Now, we know what you did
I didn't know what to call it
It seemed silly. Unserious.
So I kept it to myself.
Ashamed at my reaction.
But it's kept me up at night
At the very least
That has to count for something
We want to go back and report you, Bob,
We didn't know they were rapes.
I have been carrying you around for years,
And you are sickeningly heavy.
That ends now.
You are confused
Is not a good enough response
Bob, you listed your favourites of features of mine.
They are no longer my favorite features
You did everything you said you wouldn't.
We shouldn't have to watch our drinks
When we're having a good time
Or, like... ever.
...is still a no.
To all the Bobs that exist
We just want to let you know
That the grey area isn't that dark
We can see you now.
And you need to see yourself.
We drank together
We sang together
We danced together
I'm not talking about other victims
I'm talking about me and you.
You were stealthy like a snake
That there is no such thing as a small assault
It's huge as soon as it happens.
Today I learnt,
Women can be abusive too